This Live-With is pretty straight-forward. However, its simnplicity does not diminish its potential to provide some wonderful insight...
Remember that observations are both internal and external. These observations tie back to the previous Live-Withs: carefully observing your expectations; noting the presence of your VOJ; and seeing the judgments, actions and reactions of others.
Have fun and report on your experiences.
Thanks,
Hal
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I enjoyed the exercise at the end of last class. It gave an interesting insights into how I try to solve problems. I also tried the exercise on my wife. She also appreciated the fact that it fits well with her problem solving mindset.
Yesterday, I was paying attention to my creative process and would like to share with you all, something that was interesting.
I was keeping in mind the first two tools for creativity (have no expectations and suspend VOJ) while trying to solve a problem at work.
What I realized was that while I was trying to verify whether the solution worked, I had attached myself to the outcome. Basically, I wished that this solution worked. In the process, I was judging other ideas (solutions) that came to me at that time not so positively. I was telling myself that what I am trying now is going to work. And finally, when it turned out what I expected did not happen, I started to give more merit to the other ideas that struck me earlier.
I feel that this is probably another way that expectations and VOJ can kill new ideas.
Please let me know any comments and thoughts you have on this. It would be interesting if some of you had similar experiences.
Regu:
A great lesson that you have shared!
You so aptly comment that when you get "attached to the outcome," you naturally filter out or discount other possible options/input.
At least when the expected outcome did not materialize, you DID recognize this bias and were able to backtrack and "give more merit" to other ideas. Often when we are committed to an outcoome that does not turn out, we are just plain stuck and frustrated...
Thanks,
Hal
I started to practice the Pay Attention method this week, and I found it seems to resonate with the way I observe things in the past. However, I haven't found any significant breakthroughs this week, so I would like to share some experience in observation I had before.
Early this year I had a cold, and it kind of rebounded and I started to have allergy-like symptoms, itchy eyes and itchy throats, and some light coughs that doesn't like to go away. I was wondering whether that was allergy, because I never had allergy before. Then, one night it was raining, and I was walking on the street, and it felt so good. All of those symptoms disappeared that night. The symptoms did re-appear gradually a day later, when it became sunny. Since California weather is generally dry except on rain days, I conjectured that high humidity must have been the cause for me to feel good, or conversely, low humidity is a large reason for my allergy-like symptoms. Of course, if my body is perfectly healthy, some humidity change shouldn't matter, but when the body is still weak, the throat, the eye, the nose, etc. (note these all have mucous membranes which need a lot of moisture) can all become sensitive, and dry air then plays the role of exacerbating the problem.
I then applied this conjecture further, and theorized that pollen-related allergy is probably not caused by pollen alone, but low humidity as well. By the time the flowers blossom in California, rainy season is already nearing its end. Pollen is kind of like dust, and imagine how your nose, eye, throat would react to a lot of dust AND when humidity is low. This seems to correlate with what I hear from some friends, that you may develop allergy a few years after coming to California even if you had none in East Coast regions (which is more humid). So far my theory matches my observation, and note that I am NOT a doctor and I am not here to brag about my observation, so I am really doing this for fun. Dear fellow classmates, if any of you are doctors, I would be glad to hear your opinion. Millions of people in US suffer from allergy, and if my observation can help, I would be glad to contribute the idea for free.
Now, back to work for more observation.
I do well paying attention when a person needs my attention, but in other ways I am not as strong. I have tried twice to do the shapes and colors walk, once in my store and once on a neighborhood walk. I also tried the suggested practice to strengthen one side of your brain by closing your eyes and seeing the alphabet/numbers. I find I quickly lose focus when doing anything visually. I will have to keep working on quieting my mind to experience some of these things.
I have been ardently following the postings and the comments /individual experiences that have infact helped me understand my own self far better. I must admit, that though I tried applying the live-with , its not until the past few days that the sinking in has actually happened. I remember Julie mentioning in one of the classes that it might take some time for some, to change a perception one has being living with so long. I tried “NO EXPECTATION” which strangely did work with me very well. However, the VOI vs VOJ debate has forced me to go back to myself and make an effort to understand my own self. I have been talking to myself a lot past couple of weeks and amazingly I’m so clear on my reactions and judgments, as never before in the past. I have clarified in my own mind, the comparison between judging and having an opinion. We all have opinions about different things. Our own opinions most likely differ from others because they are based on our background, interests, abilities, and point of view. Opinions can change. Opinions are personal. They can be private or public. No one can argue your opinion. They may try to get you to change your opinion, but it is yours to do what you wish. If you don't want to change you don't have to. If you see reason to change, you can. We all have opinions and we can voice them, or keep them to ourselves. Others can agree with us, or not. We can change opinions, or not. But in all things, we should be kind about our opinions, thinking about what consequences may come if we voice our opinions and how we will react to others reactions. I have tried to get to know my voice of judgment. Recorded it and tried to analyze what it has to say, and then asked:
1. Is there anything to learn there? Sometimes insighs that can help us move forward gets lost in the voice's negativity.
2. Is that valid? The extreme negativity of the voice often borders on the absurd.
3. Are there different ways to look at that? Trying not to let the voice trap you in an artificially narrow and negative picture of reality.
4. What would I think if this were someone else's life? We are often much harder on ourselves than we would ever think of being on others. (I guess, most of us admitted that we are very strict and hard on ourselves – setting high standards to reach.)
Questioning has helped and therefore I am now more confident – The more I question the VOJ the more confident I am whether to accept or reject it.
Thanks for the wonderful experience of sharing, I don’t feel lost anymore!
Cheers
Ruchi Kohar
I found it hard to do the pay attention exercise -- I had to repeatedly remind myself to shut off the auto-pilot and not to multitask. But at the end of the week when I got better at it I noticed that it is rewarding and addictive. I tried to stop and focus on one detail at a time, re-find my curiosity about the nature and about people. Eating strawberries really slowly and really intensely tasting them. :)
I worked on learning how to use my five senses more efficiently. I really listened to people I met during the week and noticed that I could pick up things that weren't verbally spoken. I felt grounded and calm in a very good way and I felt I understood a situation much better and quicker.
To keep the curiosity up I kept asking myself what I could learn about myself (I got some of my prejudice's out in broad daylight in my brain) and about people.
While skimming through other’s wonderful observations, this may sound little cheesy but I am quite use to have headphones while at work. It gives me complete isolation which I preferred especially while designing complex modules. Frankly I am not quite sure, if listening to music can be qualified as “interruption” which precludes me to focus on main task but I could easily notice the difference when I stopped using headphones last week. I found headphones were quite essential for secluded environment but at the same time I will “blame” it for under utilizing myself at main task. I am still discovering its collateral effects on my overall performance but I surely noticed a change in my attitude to dig in further into a design challenge and candidly question the axioms which I used to presume just a week ago.
Over the weekend, when I was doing exercise in the Golden Gate Park, I tried the "lose my head" exercise. I stared out to the surroundings, the giant pine trees and eucalyptus trees, without trying to interpret what it is, but merely enjoying the surrounding environment. I got a brief sense of "the universe was in my head" experience, or more accurately, "this section of the Golden Gate Park was in my head" :). The effect is calming and soothing. I think there is a long way for me to achieve truly "the universe was in my head" level, but I enjoyed this exercise. I just tried it again at my office desktop, and it doesn't work that way. I think the serene atmosphere and wide viewing scope in the park helps with this exercise and is essential to a rookie like me.
Vishal, I also use headphones often at work, but more for enjoying music than to block out noise. I listen to more lighter music which I think is relaxing. However, just wearing the headphone seems to create a constraining feeling for me, so I don't wear it all the time. Have you tried earplugs? If office noise is high at your work, that may give you the benefit of blocking out noise without adding more neural stimulus :).
Ruchi, your 4th point stands out to me. It is often said that an outsider has an impartial view. I find that, for me, there are many things/rules/ethics that matter a great deal to me, but to an outsider, those may be trivial. Does it mean I should view them as trivial too? I still haven't got the entire answer yet.
Wenyu: Thanks for your posting. I recognized my past week in what you wrote about "the universe was in my head". Interesting what much it means to turn one's mind in one or the other direction or just open up and like you so nicely put it: "lose my head".
Ann-Helen,
Thanks for your comment. I think the "lose my head" experience also enhances one's connection to the surrounding environment and naturally improves one's attention to details.
I have found that I am usually attentive to things that I am familiar with, but in unfamiliar territory, I often need guidance. One example is from my musical practice: through the process of tuning the strings, I have learned to be meticulous about the accuracy of tuning and playing every note very precisely. However, a master then told me I lacked musical sense. I asked him what is musical sense, is it playing style? He said it is more basic than playing style, and in its simplest form it is the contrast of loudness of the notes. Only then did I start to pay attention to the contrast in my playing and develop such an appreciation when listening to music recordings.
I hope doing more "headless" exercise can open me up to new realms of observation. For now, have fun in the exercises and enjoy the strawberries!
-Wenyu
As Hal suggested I tried the opposite route when running one night. Lucky me, it was the night of the full moon. I saw the moon rise and find a new position in the sky on my second run. I realized that I was also much more present in my run because I wasn't looking for all of my typical pace markers. Maybe it was just a good run, but it was much easier and more calming than usual.
On the other hand, I realized one not so good trait about myself while paying attention this week. I realized that I put a lot of attention into anticipating. I prefer to 'cut to the chase' especially at work. I feel my anxiety rise when people meander to their point. No, I am not patient. Exercising patience and listening this week was a challenge, but a good practice for me. I hope to improve with time.
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