Please share your experiences with this Live-With. How are you using this to help both your understanding of the balance challenge and your actions to create a "balancing" of your life?
This is also the place to post any experiences of using ANY Live-With during the holiday week to your "advantage"-- peace of mind; more productive relationships, etc.
Cheers,
Hal
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It is challenging to find balance between our personal and professional lives. Yet at the end of the day it is all about conscious choices and decisions. I am convinced that we all can find an immediate yes or no answer within ourselves, we sometime just do not want to. I agree that they are more complex decisions in life which have no immediate answer as you may need more information or there are other external factors which are delaying your decision making. But I have found a good question which leads me often to the simple yes or no answer and is always helpful during my decision making process. Is it worth...? Something WORTH to do is something you will never regret. We will make good and bad choices / decisions in life,however living without REGRETS is so much better:-)
I have tried to use some of the methods to make decisions during the holidays. I really like the ”replace frustration method.” I have tried it in different situation and it seems to work well in dilemmas that can be compared. But, somehow it seems difficult to use it in situation, where you have to decide between your own personal interest or someone else’s. I didn’t really help me when it comes to situations where compromise is the best solution.
Did anyone else make it work with compromise?
I am seriously habitual to check work emails after office hours. I was not sure, whether it’s my inherent attempt to be “connected” all the time or just a default activity during spare time.
In past, I have tried once to avoid doing it but it somehow comes back with my VOJ of being proactive in reception. Lately, I have noticed that even my director “expects” me to get back to his late evening mails before the next morning.
As my frustration arise, I was implicitly trying to provide justification to myself by explaining benefits of this boredom activity :) While, internally I was never being able to clearly justify its tradeoffs that time consume on it can rather be utilized on something else which I can enjoy.
Rather then evaluating it further, following my essence I have decided to abstain from it during long weekend. It was quite difficult to suppress my VOJ with this sudden decision. But this greatly helped me to focus on activities I love to do during long weekend. I am not sure, how essence does have irrational decisive power but complying with it surely brings rejoice…
I have always had a strong "gut feeling" but I have always pushed it away, too afraid of believing in it. Because the VOJ told me I couldn't.
It is a relief to start finding my way down to my gut-feeling and intuition. I have not had a any situations where I really have practiced the decision now -- I have been trying to find time for down-time, to be in a place where I could start to listen inwards. For me it has been a lot about pay attention, minimize mind chatter and stop worrying so much.
At one occasion during the past weekend I knew what my decision was, but it ended up being a compromise. I actually used the replace frustration method like Mads did and I think that when one face certain dilemmas, one can/should override the decision you feel is right, and instead that become the right thing. Perhaps not to the opposite but to a compromise.
What do you think?
To show try compassion to another human being, I think it helps to make certain decisions in several small steps, and maybe that could be a way of balancing personal life, professional life and the interpersonal life.
When I have been practicing recognizing my decision making for some time I think it'll become easy to make great decisions fast.
The textbook mentions that if at a Y forking road, never just get stuck on it. That happened to me in a more literal way. Yesterday when I was about to park my car, I hesitated whether I should park next to the curb, or into the walk way a bit. As I wavered, I hit the curb pretty hard, and I had to repair the tire today. If I made either decision, I probably would have avoided the impact. This may be a good example of what not to do at a Y-road (in the sense of making a choice).
What also bothered me was that I felt very upset after the incident. I could be quite ok with things that are much bigger in terms of monetary value, say not having cashed out stocks at a high price, but I get upset with things that are close to me. Is that a way of looking at myself with my heart? Is my Essence ever upset with such incidents? Or is it just my ego that's feeling the emotions? There are still many questions yet unanswered.
Recently I had an experience that I want to share with you all. I had an intuition about a direction I wanted to take for a problem at work. But my initial "rational" mind kept putting it off saying that the direction was not going to be of any help. But somehow I wanted to do it and the question/direction kept coming back to me. Finally, two weeks ago I took half a day to go down that direction and it had turned out to be very fruitful.
So these days I keep track of my
feelings and when I feel struck, I plan to check those directions I haven't tried yet.
Overall, I think this course has given me lot of tools to play with and perspectives on how other people operate. I would like to thank my fellow class-mates, Julie and Hal for this experience. I would recommend this course to anyone who wants to enrich their lives. I also feel that this course could help PhD students who are starting to do their research.
During the first two weeks of utilizing this live-with I realized that the majority of the stress around my decision making process is the internal debate that I entertain before I decide. During this debate period I am entertaining all of my other internal demons - expectations and particularly the VOJ. It is as if I am triple-checking the answer that lies within my essence just in case it's wrong. It's as if I am afraid to trust my inner voice. What if it's wrong? What if others disagree? I realized this week that when I actively tried to get quiet enough to hear my inner voice I easily reached a decision and by acting on that decision the other, less important, voices lost their forum and quieted immediately. I also recognized that when I made decisions from some other rational, external place, I didn't get the benefit of relief or assurance. It was if my internal voice got louder, nagging at me, asking, 'Why did you do that?'
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